I am so useless in here.

We'll sleep together tonight trying to fit ourselves inside the wallpaper.

They can't love me. They can't love what I don't show.

The boy with such sad wings should stay off tall buildings and keep away from high wires.

It's a vodka and cigarettes kinda night.

My skin is a map of minor impacts.

There is beauty in defeat when we get back on our feet.

When the wind beats against our hollow bones,

we're staring at different stars in the same night sky.

it's not at all important. it's just the way I am sometimes.

I should pack these bags & go home.

But home is nowhere.

Fists on up, I want the ocean right now.

e v e r y b r e a t h i s a v i c t o r y

Now I find it hard to relate to the most familiar of faces.

Fuck it! How cliché this all sounds.

This was made for the individual but is ruined by the ignorant masses.

Boy, you went and made a sweet wreck of my soul, but I've already forgiven you.

we develop unhealthy attachments to what we can't save.

‘Then I buried myself in romantic sentiment and waited for you.

Waiting like a loyal whore. And under every stone, Lovers sleep alone.’

You sure were GOLDEN.

Flashback to 1999,

It’s the Summer,

Not a cloud in the sky.

Present day,

Things have changed,

Summer’s over,

And it rains here everyday.

Dont cry, we all make mistakes from time to time, unfortunately for me, being me was mine.

until her heart was caged, with every morning spent not caring if she cares or not.

You seem to think that life owes you something more than a right to breathe.

“When I write I'm the hero of my shit.”

Dinosauria, We

Born like this. Into this. As the chalk faces smile. As Mrs. Death laughs. As the elevators break. As political landscapes dissolve. As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree. As the oily fish spit out their oily prey. As the sun is masked. We are. Born like this. Into this. Into these carefully mad wars. Into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness. Into bars where people no longer speak to each other. Into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings. Born into this. Into hospitals which are so expensive that it's cheaper to die. Into lawyers who charge so much it's cheaper to plead guilty. Into a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closed. Into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes. Born into this. Walking and living through this. Dying because of this. Muted because of this. Castrated. Debauched. Disinherited. Because of this. Fooled by this. Used by this. Pissed on by this. Made crazy and sick by this. Made violent. Made inhuman. By this. The heart is blackened. The fingers reach for the throat. The gun. The knife. The bomb. The fingers reach toward an unresponsive god. The fingers reach for the bottle. The pill. The powder. We are born into this sorrowful deadliness. We are born into a government 60 years in debt. That soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt. And the banks will burn. Money will be useless. There will be open and unpunished murder in the streets. It will be guns and roving mobs. Land will be useless. Food will become a diminishing return. Nuclear power will be taken over by the many. Explosions will continually shake the earth. Radiated robot men will stalk each other. The rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms. Dante's Inferno will be made to look like a children's playground. The sun will not be seen and it will always be night. Trees will die. All vegetation will die. Radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men. The sea will be poisoned. The lakes and rivers will vanish. Rain will be the new gold. The rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind. The last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases. And the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition. The petering out of supplies. The natural effect of general decay. And there will be the most beautiful silence never heard. Born out of that. The sun still hidden there. Awaiting the next chapter.

Bukowski.

How can you trust your feelings, when they just disappear like that?

and she was falling, head over heels.

▼ ▲

▼ ▲

▼ ▲

“It's a fear, it is near. the shape becomes ever clear.

It bares teeth, extra sharp, that'll cut you in the heart.

It attacks really quick, try and fight it with a stick.

it's no use, give it up, this is life and this is love.

You are my alligator.”

For the record my heart is sore.

You blew through me like bullet holes.

To wake up half empty, only to be fed again with morning.

I can’t decide if I should knock down your door or honour it.

So I’ll just stare at my feet, wait for better plans.

van die dagen, dat je rondloopt in eeuwenoude lompen waar een naam op staat die in een grijs grijs verleden nog een belletje deed rinkelen.

Bandshirts.

‘Wow, wist niet dat je daar naar luisterde. Hoe vond je ze live?’
- Nou, ik vond het vooral tof dat ik er NIET bij was, en nou oprotten.

Falen²

"Overmisunderstood, I wish I really could Enjoy the warming sun, enjoy a warm someone And end the need to hide away alone inside.”

"I am a deeply superficial person."
— Andy Warhol

She said to the fastfood Hero. "Welcome, this is an awfull place but it's my heart."

and He said to her "Baby, I've seen worse Monsters."

You make me nauseous, weak and sick.

all the things I hate about liking someone too much is feeling like this.

.

You've got your fingers snared in my veins
I think it's time you pulled them out

And I don't care about the flesh it'll tear
It isn't flesh that I'm worried about

They always seem to leave in the spring
As if they know that it hurts more
To carry a heartbreak through the summer.

☂

I got bruises on my knees for you. Baby, I fell. I fell face down for you. ⚓

He just reminded me, once again.

'You will not get that golden boy you dream of each night. You'll wake up alone. It's life.'

Thanks babe, that's what friends are for!

Hope in her mind for tomorrow.

SOMS BEN IK EEN MEISJES VAN DUIZEND DIEPTES. EN SOMS BEN IK ZO OPPERVLAKKIG ALS NAGELAK. IK HOU ERVAN. SOMS TREK IK MIJN DUIKERSPAKJE AAN EN ZINK IK WEG. MAAR SOMS WIL IK ALLEEN MAAR GIECHELEN EN DOE IK NET ALSOF DE KRANT VAN VANDAAG NIET BESTAAT. DAT IS EEN KEUZE, EN DIE MAAK IK HELEMAAL ZELF. MAAR JIJ, JIJ MAG OP DE RESTJES KAUWEN, WANT ALS JIJ NIET VERDER WIL KIJKEN DAN JE NEUS LANG IS EN MIJN TIETEN GROOT ZIJN... HOUD HET OP.

IK VIND JE STOM. MAAR DAT HOEF JIJ NIET TE WETEN.

You say you miss those days, but we did it right.

Quit the habit, started smoking again.

I was crying you where laughing.

Hit in the face, blood on the snow.

We where never happier...

ik wil je zo graag

dat ik niet weet waar ik het zoeken moet

en ik ken je niet eens

jongen met je grote blauwe ogen.!

Now at the end of every day I lie awake at night and wait to feel the wires of my brain get cut and quietly rearranged and hear my beaten heart exclaim.

‘I walk with both arms to my side, but in my mind they're both spread wide.’

We pretend that it won't happen but you pause and it is gone.

Seems we are left with nothing when it's only separation.

Cut off tomorrow realize today, it means so much more,

and if we are strong we cannot let it slip through our hands.

There will be no apathy, we can't afford to lose what little we have.

There will be no apathy, I won't just let things run their course.

Why do we measure worth based on what's going to be?

Why do we measure worth based solely on what used to be?

Why does it seem as if it's not worth trying?

Why does it seem like there is no more worth?

For how much longer will we let time keep us apart?

For how much longer will we let this space get in our way?

Will I devalue what I know will soon be gone?

Can I only value what I know will soon be gone?

And every moment was worth it but I'm visibly shaken.

JEZELF MET VEEL MOEITE OVER HET PAARD GETILD HEBBEN, ZONDER HET GEGEVEN PAARD IN DE BEK TE KIJKEN EN ER AAN DE ANDERE KANT WEER AFDONDEREN ZONDER HET BIT IN DE MOND TE NEMEN. MAAR IK ZEG GEEN SORRY MEER, WANT DAT BEN JIJ OOK VERGETEN. NET ALS DAT JE MIJ VERGAT, MAAR DAT GEEFT NIET. IK HEB TEN SLOTTE STUKJES OP MIJN ELLEBOOG, WANT VALLEN IS NET ZO STOER ALS OPSTAAN. ZELFS ZONDER DAT ER 3 DAGEN TUSSEN ZITTEN EN JE NIET DE ZOON VAN GOD BENT. IK KAN OOK DINGEN... NET ALS JIJ.

TROTS.

IN DUIZEND STUKJES.

Bekoelde dromen en verwassen hartjes. Ik kan niets meer vinden op de plekken waar ik ooit heb opgeruimd. Rommel staat me beter. Gelukkig lig jij al in de afvalbak. Doei.